Lifestyle writer and contributor for Stuff, Rachel Halliwell, writes about the importance of drawing the line between being your daughter's best friend and mother. Here is her post:
Jenny Brown, the head teacher of St Albans High School for Girls, would surely not be happy at the thought of me cuddling with the girls. She had just recently talked about the behavior of mothers who desperately want to be their daughters 'best friend forever" (or BFF) that they contribute to a generation filled with dependent and spoilt young women, not fully equipped to tackle the adult world.
In reality though, she doesn't have to worry about me. My loving sums up to almost nothing more than small acts of love normal mothers do. It is also where the pampering stops.
However, I find that like Brown, I find it very complicated to be in the "I am my daughter's best friend" bandwagon. That's not because I'm old fashioned. It is because I am fully aware that my girls these days have plenty of friends already, and I would be the last person they'll want to be a part of their clique.
I believe that even with these things in mind, youngsters will have something no friend, no matter how loyal, can ever give them; a tough and boundary-setting love that only a mother can even think of giving.
I say these things because it's already a hand-full to be a full time mother, but you have to deal with telling a feisty 15-year-old for example, telling her she can't go to a party where I'm so sure parents have provided a large amount of booze. And how about adult supervision, well, zilch!
Unfortunately, these are some of the things you must do for the sake of your daughter. You make her feel that she is your child rather than her being your friend. I pity girls growing up without mothers giving them that kind of relationship.
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