You won't believe this wild Japanese food trend! Sweat-infused rice balls shaped by armpits are s(m)elling like crazy. What is driving people to consume these schvitzy balls?
3 Words: Armpit Rice Balls
Remember that Alec Baldwin skit on SNL where he's all about selling us on his "Schweddy Balls?" Well the shwedd has hit the fan. In a twist that has raised eyebrows across the planet, Japan's latest trendy snack is...(wait for it)...armpit rice balls! According to the Hindustan Times, the humble onigiri rice ball has gotten an unusual makeover courtesy of swarthy chefs shaping the rice using their ripe underarms. Now excuse us while we go wretch before finishing this article...
The Process Behind Sweaty Onigiri
There is SO much to unpack here. SO MUCH! According to reports, young women rice-ballers meticulously disinfect themselves before working up a sweat. They then use the moist crevices of their pits to mold the classic triangular treat. Some restaurants even put the weird process on display for diners. So why do the cooks have to be female? To that end, why are they making it a spectator sport? Are there armpit inspectors swabbing these ladies for cooties? Do they rewash their pits? Have they SHAVED their pits, or does body hair just enhance the pit flavor? WE GOT FREAKING QUESTIONS!!!
A Sweaty Hit Worth its Salt
Unsurprisingly, this salty innovation has sparked major debate online. While some see it as harmless, quirky fun (remind us never to eat those people's cooking), others find it unhygienic and unappetizing. But the real shocker? These sweat-crafted onigiri reportedly sell at ten times the price of normal rice balls! OK, again, WHY? Is their sweat champagne and caviar flavored? Does it have curative properties? It's just rice! We are 100% NOT on board here and will be passing on these schvitzy snacks, but hey, if you are an adventurous eater, be our guest. We'll be over here, pit-sweat-free, enjoying some sake and trying not to gag.
