Over the past decades, a lot of literature and art have been trying to grasp, understand and exhibit the intensity of motherhood. Usually being the primary parent, mothers carry the essential role of tending to their (and sometimes, not theirs at all) children's needs and nurturing their well-being. It is indeed a hard duty to rear generations and generations. As the famous singer Adele just described it, "It's f***king hard. Everyone...does it, how hard can it be?"
Yes, there goes our question. How hard can it be and where does a mother draw her strength from during decades of taking care of her children and family?
Researchers Suniya Luthar and Lucia Ciciolla of Arizona State University found that unconditional friendships and authentic relationships are the mothers' secrets behind their superhero capes.
Luthar and Ciciolla surveyed more than 2,000 well-educated, upper middle-class mothers about the factors that have helped them cope with motherhood. They considered these mothers to be at "high risk" for parenting stress because they have to deal with more hours per week on children's activities and other commitments. The study showed four factors (out of 7) that contribute the most in keeping the mothers' positivity and lessening distress. These are: unconditional acceptance, feeling comforted when needed, authenticity in relationships and friendship satisfaction.
The research also proves that, although important, the mother's relationship with her spouse does not necessarily determine her well-being as a mother. Luthar said that there is rather a strong protective power of other close relationships such as with friends. The results tell us that just like how children need to feel unconditional love and acceptance, mothers benefit greatly when they know they have trustworthy sources (in this case, their friends) of comfort when in grief.
This study seems to be beginning of further studies for Luthar as she wishes to expand her program for mothers across different communities and settings.
