You know what's really unnecessary? Carnivores that have issues with vegans. Why do they care? Yes, we all know the joke: how do you know someone is vegan? Answer: they will tell you. Do you know why? They have specific food needs. Look, we eat meat, but we have no problems with people who don't-or pescatarians or flexitarians, vegetarians, people with food allergies, and so forth. Eat what you want, fam. The whole thing about people who call themselves carnivores that bully folks who eat plants just feels like they are having issues with their own unspoken reservations regarding eating animal protein. So this is why we love this satirical new "Hate Vegans?" ad campaign that comes from the plant-based food advocacy organization Eat Differently about why some non-vegans get a little touchy when you poke them with a carrot.
The campaign created a fictional ambulance-chasing injury lawyer named Seymour Loudermilk, who's advertising that his firm is now taking on cases for people who had their feels hurt by what some mean old vegan said to them. Loudermilk brags about winning cases for those traumatized by medical advice from doctors suggesting they try a salad instead or by facts surrounding the state of the meat and dairy industry. If you've had your feelings bruised by one of these plant-eating fiends, you are encouraged to call 866-HATE-VEGANS. Of course, if you are enough of a rube to fall for this (or just curious), you'll get a sales pitch on the benefits of fruit and veggie-based cuisine. We abide here since we love a great prank.
The campaign launched in Los Angeles, which is our only critique. LA? Isn't that a bit like preaching to the choir? I mean, talk about an easy sell. We'd like to see how this works in Dallas, New Orleans, or Chicago, which are all arguably far more meat-friendly metropolises. C'mon folks. Take it to the real haters.
As amusing as this is, it sheds light on a serious issue in the United States. We have a meat addiction. According to Johns Hopkins, Americans on average eat more meat than is healthy for them driving up hypertension, heart disease, and stroke numbers across the land. Additionally, meat and dairy production create pollutants that seep into our waterways as well as creating methane emissions that are even a worse agent of climate change than CO2. Finally, we have such a massive demand for meat that the factory ranches often keep animals in cramped and inhumane quarters that can spread diseases like the current avian-flu that has resulted in the culling of countless poultry and egg-laying birds. And yet we still have some meatheads that think "green smoothies are for sissies" out there happily eating a tomahawk steak every night and bacon and eggs every morning.
We know not everyone will be swayed. In fact, we bet there will be people on X screaming that this is a plot by the deep state to take away our protein and make us all into skinny, peace-loving hippies. But even if this makes a dent, even if this keeps your Uncle Bob the plumber from having one more bratwurst this week, if it just makes some people think about their own health, the welfare of our food supply, and the fate of the world, then we see it as a win.
If you're curious to hear more about what Loudermilk's nefarious litigiousness is about, you can take a peek at his site, Hatevegans.com or catch the TV spots on Youtube.
Have a look. The very least that will happen is you'll get a chuckle out of it all.