Being shy is not always a bad thing. Sometimes, it can be an asset. What are the good things that come out of shyness and how to help kids and teens have more confidence?
Specialist stated that social anxiety disorder is the most typical type of anxiety disorder. According to WebMD, a person with social anxiety disorder is uncommonly distressed about talking to or to be in front of people. Some symptoms include being nervous, sad or getting upset easily before or during a social event. The anxiety makes one to blush, sweat, or feels shaky which often leads to faster heartbeat and being distracted.
On the contrary, Koraly Perez-Edgar, associate professor of psychology at Pennsylvania State University and studied shyness and social anxiety stated, Shyness is less severe and more subjective label. It is commonly characterized as wanting to talk with people but doing it uncomfortably. A 2011 study in the Pediatrics journal shows that more than 60 percent of parents assume their kids are shy, and almost half of youth refer to themselves as shy.
In Perez-Edgar's study on her Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology, she discovered that those kids who do not comprehend the social world around them have more tendencies to withdraw from the crowd and feel shy. Children who focus on negative reactions or happenings around them are more likely prone to shyness that could lead to anxiety.
"It's adaptive and normal for people to be on the lookout for threats in their environment, whether they be physical or social, because you want to protect yourself," she says. "But if you have an individual who seeks out threats too much or has a low threshold for what they consider threatening ... they're more likely to withdraw and look shy." Perez-Edgar also believes that the environment where a person grew up has also a contributing factor to shyness or social anxiety. Kids who grew up in an environment whose parents are critical or overprotective could be shyer than those who did not.
One good thing that comes out of shyness is the ability to listen more, thus turning a person to be a good listener and analyze others better. The more kids recognize this strength and more of their talents, the more they would gain confidence on themselves. Parents have major roles to play to help kids leave their comfort zones.
One way to help them is by not being strict on their expectations. It might be normal to want their children to be the center of the crowd, but what's unusual is going off limits to achieve their expectations, thus could lead to too much pressure on the kids. So if children want to play quietly alone more than be in large social gatherings, Perez-Edgar says. "That's perfectly fine if they're happy and they're functioning​and they feel good about themselves, it only becomes a problem if you see that it limits them or they're sad about or if they're somehow feeling bad about themselves." If all efforts were given and parents don't see any success in helping their children, they shouldn't be hesitant to ask help. With the aid of group therapy programs and psychologists, kids and teens can overcome shyness and gain higher self-esteem.