Many people seem to think that the Playboy Mansion is all fun and games. But Holly Madison reveals that it was a lot worse than what folks ever thought.

In her new book, "Down The Rabbit Hole: Curious Adventures and Cautionary Tales of a Former Playboy Bunny," Madison revealed all the secrets and dark details that lie within the infamous mansion and the man behind it, Hugh Hefner.

Hugh Hefner's former number one girlfriend shared that she considered committing suicide while living in the mansion. Holly claims her "misery" and depression consumed her so much that in 2002, during a bath, she speculated: "If I just put my head under water and take a deep breath in, it would all be over."

Thinking that there was no way out, she added, "Maybe it was the pot and the alcohol, but drowning myself seemed like the logical way to escape the ridiculous life I was leading."

The "Girls Next Door" star also said she didn't think the Playboy Enterprises founder would notice her missing. "Would he even miss me? No, I was certain I was just another warm body - as we all were. 'Just another blonde,' I could hear him say."

Holly Madison also shared that the infamous Playboy Hugh Hefner was controlling all the girls in the mansion. "I learned Hef was the manipulator and that he pitted us against one another. I realized I wasn't treated well. I'm done being afraid of people," Holly said.

She also added, "I don't have any loyalty to Hef. I haven't talk to him in four years, so there's no reason to reach out now. Besides, it's the truth."

Then when Holly decided to move out of the mansion, Hef offered her a piece of his will to make her stay. "It was there, in black and white. The will stated that $3,000,000 would be bestowed to Holly Madison at the time of his death (provided I still lived in the Mansion)."

Holly Madison's "Down the Rabbit Hole" will be available starting June 23rd.